Ruthie Portnoy is an online couples therapist


What attracted you to become a therapist?

For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to help people who seem sad or lonely. 

From a therapeutic view point it was possibly because I lost my mum very suddenly when I was 11 years old. In those days (60s/70s) in the UK therapy was not an option, well certainly not in my family.


Where did you train?  

London, Yorkshire, Cumbria and Santa Barbara USA


Can you tell us about the type of therapy you practise?

I integrate Imago’s Couples Therapy, EFT-Tapping (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and am just completing my EMDR training.  

All of these help the client to move forward and feel empowered. I am not fixing anyone, rather I am teaching them new tools so that they leave therapy being calm confident and relaxed in their own body and mind.


How does your style of therapy help?

Imago Couples Therapy helps bring people (not only couples) back into love, passion and connectivity in all areas of life. Without blame, shame or criticism. It can be used with co-workers and, also, parents/children and siblings. 

When the problem is clearly something they bought with them from home into the marriage/relationship, I may use EFT for a few sessions.   


What sort of people do you usually see?

I usually see individuals and couples over 18. My eldest client was in their 80s.


Have you noticed any recent mental health trends or wider changes in attitude?

I am very relieved to see that therapy is finally becoming destigmatised.


What do you like about being a therapist?

I just love people and working with a variety of backgrounds, races and religions gives me strength and hope for a more healed world. We have so much more in common with each other than we have differences.  


What is less pleasant? 

Seeing people in pain initially can be hard but I then get myself ‘out of the way’ and do the best I can to help them heal. 


How long have you been with Welldoing and what you think of us? 

I am very new to Welldoing but I love the idea of CPD sessions and look forward to meeting other therapists in the peer support groups.  


What books have been important to you in terms of your professional and personal development? Do you ever recommend books to clients?

I always recommend books to clients and games for couples. At the moment I am reading and loving Not by Accident, a memoir by Chloe Madanes. Chloe was a big part of my training for life coaching. 

Awareness by Anthony De Mello is a must and of course All is Well by Louise Hay. 


What you do for your own mental health? 

I love spending time walking and talking with my husband Joel of 45 years (yes, we were childhood sweethearts) and of course my children and many grandchildren. 

I have recently picked up my clarinet from my school days and that also gives me a lot of pleasure – I hope the neighbours feel the same :) 


You are online therapist. What can you share with us about seeing clients in this way?

I am only working on Zoom at the moment and I love it because I am able to work internationally and have clients in countries that I have never visited and that gives me an extra buzz.


What’s your consultation room like?

Calm, safe and light.


What do you wish people knew about therapy?

In life pain is inevitable, suffering is optional – why suffer? 


What did you learn about yourself in therapy?

That even if the event or trauma happened over 40 years ago and you have been stoic and led a rich and meaningful life, the body keeps the score (another great book) and there will still be trigger moments when we might over react with no apparent reason...only there really is a very real reason.  


Contact Ruthie here

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